Saint Luke's Lutheran Church

We hear a lot about love these days - not just in movies and on television, but even here at church. For the past five Sundays now we have been reading from 1 John - a letter that is all about love - about God's love for us; about our love for God; about our love for one another.

Love is a basic human need. We all need to be loved. We all need someone to love. When love is withheld or withdrawn, people suffer. This is illustrated by a story in last Sunday's Grand Rapids Press. Four years ago, Holly and Dave Meyer went to an orphanage in Siberia to adopt a baby girl. At the orphanage, they also saw some older children, who at five years old were already past the age when they could hope to be adopted. When they looked into these older children's eyes, their hearts ached. They knew that they would adopt again.

Two years later, while on a mission trip with their church, the Meyers found a charming, seven year old boy in Romania. His life to that point had been just horrible. For the first two years, he had been tied to his crib. Then he was bounced from orphanage to foster homes where he was molested and beaten. The Meyers adopted him and brought him into their home.

Over the next two years, this charming little boy, with a smile his teacher said would melt anyone's heart, repeatedly assaulted his younger sister, both physically and sexually, and he threatened to kill her and his mother. Now he has been removed from the home and his future in the hands of a judge.

Doctors diagnosed him with severe reactive-attachment disorder (RAD), which is they said resulted from the lack of attachment as an infant and the abuse he suffered. The absence of love in the first three years when children normally learn how to love and trust leaves these children unable to do either.

Children with RAD are extreme examples, but they illustrate in a heartbreaking and powerful way the need for love in our lives. This is news to none of us. We spend our lives looking to love and to be loved. Yet in spite of all the emphasis on love, there seems to be a great deal of confusion about it in our world today.

Here is where the Bible can help. One of the key verses in First John says simply and powerfully: "God is love." Love is the very essence of God. Love is the very nature of God. This means that not only does love describe God, but God also defines love. If we really want to know love then, we need to know God, because God is love.

The word John uses for divine love is "agape." Agape is found hundreds of times throughout the New Testament, but it was not very common in ancient Greek literature or culture. The Greeks had two other words for love that the used more often. One of these was "philia." Philia is the warm, personal affection one has for family and friends. It is used to describe the love between husband and wife, between brother and sister, between two close friends. The other common Greek word for love was "eros," which has to do with desire and passion. Eros was a love that desired something for it's own satisfaction. It was used of things that gave one pleasure - such as the love of food or drink, the love of music or theater, and yes even passionate, sexual love as reflected in our English word "erotic."

In the English language, we do not distinguish between these different kinds of love. We use the same word to say, "I love ice cream" and to say, "I love my child." We use the same word to say, "I love my work" and to say, "I love my wife." We use the same word to say, "I love fishing" and to say, "I love my friends." These kinds of love are not all the same. When we use the word "love" to cover such a broad range of meaning, it is easy to loose sight of what love really is.

Like the ancient Greeks, we use the word "love" most often in the sense of "eros." When we say we love ice cream or chocolate cake - that's eros. When we use love for lust - that's eros. When we talk about loving work or music - that's eros. Eros, however, is never used in the New Testament. When John says, "God is love," or when Jesus tells us to "love one another," they are not talking about eros, they are talking about agape. Agape is a selfless kind of love - a self-giving love. Agape wants what is best for the other, not for itself. There is a basic difference between eros and agape. Eros loves because of what it gets. Agape loves because of what it has to give. Eros has more to do with our feelings. Agape has more to do with our actions.

A fellow pastor tells about seeing a mother and her young son in a grocery store one day. The little boy kept reaching out and taking things from the shelf. His mother asked him gently, "Please don't do that." He would say, "Okay, mommy."

But in a moment he would do it again. This happened several times until the little boy had pushed it as far as his mother could tolerate. Finally, she grabbed both of his arms, looked him right in the eyes, and said firmly, "Do not do that again."

He that he had gone as far as he dared and that knew his mother was now upset, so he looked up with teary brown eyes and said, "Mommy, I love you." She smiled but then said, "If you love me, why don't you listen to me and do what I ask?" For that mother, love had to go beyond words. Real love will show itself in actions.

God's love for us goes beyond feelings and beyond words. God did not say that he loves us by sending a Hallmark card. God said, "I love you," by sending us his Son. Jesus did not say that he loves us by giving us a hug or a kiss, Jesus said, "I love you" by dying on the cross. In our Gospel lesson we read that there is no greater love than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. This is exactly what Jesus did - laid down his life for us. God's love is not about feelings, it is all about action.

God's love calls for some kind of response. We cannot receive God's love without loving in return, and we cannot love God without doing what God asks us to do. In our Gospel reading for today, Jesus makes very clear what he wants us to do - to love one another as he has loved us. As he has loved us - Jesus wants us to love not in word or speech, but in truth and in action. Love one another -- Jesus is not talking here about loving family and friends. Even the Greeks did that. Jesus is talking about loving one another - that's everyone whom God loves.

Now, I know that the members of St. Luke's are all lovable people - most of the time. But I also know that none of us is lovable all of the time. Agape loves anyway. Agape does not love only when it is easy; agape loves even when it is hard. Agape does not love only when it makes us feel good; agape loves even when it hurts. Agape does not love because of what we get, but agape loves because the other needs to be loved.

This kind of love is not something that we can do on our own. We love this way only because God has loved us this way. God is love, and when God lives in our hearts and in our lives, then we can't do anything else but love. When we love this way, then others will see God's love in us, and through us they will also see God.

When I was thinking about a title for this sermon, I remembered a television show from the 80's called The Love Connection. Because I never really watched this show, I went to the Internet to refresh my memory. When I typed "The Love Connection" into the search engine, I got over 8,000 hits - most of them offering some kind of dating service. This said to me that there are a whole lot of people out there in our world who are looking for some kind of love connection - a whole lot of people looking for love. The problem is that they are looking for love in all the wrong places, and they are looking for the wrong kind of love.

The world is looking for eros, when what the world really needs is agape. Where will they find agape? Only here in the church. God has called us to be the Agape Place - the place where people can come to experience real love. When we love one another, then the world will look at us and say, "I want what you have." Then the world will see in our love for one another, the love of God and they will come to know God as we know God.

The real Love Connection is the cross of Jesus Christ. This cross is what connects us to the love of God (vertical). This cross is also what connects us to each other (horizontal). May your hearts and your lives be cross-shaped. May God fill your heart and mind and spirit with agape love so that you can love one another as Christ has loved you. Amen.